Coyote Trax's Webcomics Critique

There is something so grandiosely stupid about human design that it’s possible for us to bite down hard on our tongues after we sneeze, leaving us with an icky taste of blood and mucous in our mouths. Having just experienced this tragedy for myself I can tell you that it is still only the second worst thing about having a cold. The worst part about having a cold is all the acting involved. You really have to sell a cold once you have it, so you can gain the spoils of having people bring you tea and make you food. It’s a delicate dance that must be executed to perfection. One single slip up and you’re out on your behind making your own chicken soup from a packet of grits.

Digressing verily, we now delve into the subject of today’s Friday Feature: Webcomics! ‘Nobody Scores!’ (by Brandon Bolt – if that is your real name) has been about since mid-2006 and it’s a good mid-sized comic that I believe is vastly under-rated. It’s got some decent art, cartoony and fitting, as well as plenty of unique and oftentimes diabolical humour. So what’s the deal? Why hasn’t it taken off like a hooker with my wallet? Well let’s take a quick perusal of the comic’s premise.

Simple enough, it’s about three roomies, sometimes their downstairs neighbour and the wacky antics that inexorably ensue. Duh! It’s been done! Right? Yes, you are right. In any other circumstance I’d agree with that as being a tired and old basis for a comic, but I’m going to disagree and I’m going to tell you why. I know that, while that is the premise in a nutshell, it’s still vastly different from every other webcomic I’ve seen with that lays claim to a similar idea.

First off, Nobody Scores has this much continuity – Sweet Alaskan fudge-all. That’s “none” to you “normal” “folk”“.” It’s beautiful to watch, in a way. Now you have your people who’d say that the likes of VG Cats lacks continuity either, but it also maintains a tenuous, tissue-paper-like hold in the realm of video games (that’s two-ply paper, mind. The likes of Ctrl+Alt+Del and Sore Thumbs are less than one-ply… In fact I’m not even sure that it’s tissue paper at all).

Character development isn’t nonexistent, but it’s certainly not too big a burden on your brain. The main characters, Sara, Jane, Beans and Raoul, all have very basic character traits  (cunning, random, artsy and intellectual, respectively). These characters are then used to play the parts best fitting those traits in whatever scenario the day’s comic is showcasing. This leaves wide open spaces, veritable metaphorical acres of land, in which the comic can use situational humour to the fullest effect.

Let’s veer off to the side so I can try to describe this using a relatable scenario for you. Imagine the popular television serial ‘Friends’. Okay? What do you mean you’ve never heard of it, it hasn’t been finished that long. Wow, five years already? Sheesh. Anyway, imagine if that show didn’t have continuity. Where the characters could do whatever they wanted from week to week without it spilling into the next episode. They could even die and by the next week nothing would really have changed. The idea is exciting in one way because it gives rise to so many possibilities. Drama, however, suffers because of it. Without some sense of a story to hold everything together, what have you got? You’re left with a comedy troupe. And they most often suck.

Nobody Scores has a more interesting catch though. Each strip is a testament to failure. Nobody can win no matter how brilliant their scheme, or their plans because that’s not how life works. So now you have the idea as to the way each strip ends, right? No point in reading it, is there? Wrong again, son. HOW their hopes and dreams are dashed is a pleasure to watch. I’m no sadist, quite the contrary, if anything I empathise with the whole thing. Essentially, it makes losing fun. Everyone’s an underdog in the game of life and we’re all either gonna wind up in the pound or getting hit by a car. This illustrates that sentiment in a way that’ll make you guff out your laughter valves.

Upon further reading, I honestly get more joy out of Mr Bolt’s notes throughout, and at the end of, each comic. It’s breaking the fourth wall in a way, but not in the annoying way that makes you want to reach inside your computer, yank out the artist by his pox-ridden cheeks and beat him to death, in true ironic fashion, with a gigantic pencil that was used as a prop in the local mall’s house-o-stationary. No, this is breaking the fourth wall in a good way. It’s a commentary separate from the comic, but placed just to the side of the panel edge so you can read it in full context (and, therefore, full funny). It’s non-essential, but it’s good for a laugh or some.

My final words on Nobody Scores are thus: Nothing is off-limits. Politics, religion, dystopian futures… It’s all fair game. The situations are endless, the antics rank very high on the shenanigan-o-meter, and it’s all presented in a cartoony look that suits it down to the ground. In a webcomic world that’s overwhelmingly populated with Mary-Sues and Gary-Stus, it’s nice to see people not win, but lose.

So I’m still left wondering, why isn’t it more popular than it is? Nobody Scores is a machine of comedy, refined to the point of disbelief. Maybe the simple fact that it throws caution to the continuity and just goes for the random edge discourages readers. Do people really need a story to hold their fragile attention spans together? I don’t see how anybody can have a problem with something that brought us the concept of spray-on cake. I guess I’ll leave it up to you. I find this comic both simplistic but groundbreaking in its execution of the format, so give it a chance.

And remember, Nobody Scores, not even me.